Monday, June 22, 2015

Grateful to be Alive and Living

I have not been able to write for quite a while. This inactivity of mine is not a bad thing as it means that I am largely free of serious illness during this period. I started this blog when I was diagnosed with SLE nearly 5 years ago. I needed an outlet to express the feelings and emotions that I go through as a lupus patients. Little did I expect that my posts especially the one that described lupus and shingles will resonate with so many of you out there. I guess it is because there are few articles that link these 2 illnesses together. I am happy that my blog which is largely a personal expression of feelings can bring comfort to some of you as you discover you are not alone in this journey.

Having been through several episodes of sufferings and experienced the death of a close relative due to cancer in the last few years, I have learned to cherish life more. I faithfully go for regular checkup (from monthly to every 3 months and now every 4 months) with my lupus doc, testing my blood and major organs like kidney function every time. I also go for annual eye checkup since the medication, Plaquenil that I am taking daily now may have side effects on the eye retina.  It is still hard to juggle family life and work life. But I am grateful that I am able to wake up everyday, hug my hubby, fetch girl to school, go to work and have dinner with them in the evening. Life is simple but it is the simplicity that brings joy. I try to be less critical of life and less critical of others. There are still times that I feel depressed and unhappy over things that people said of me or when I feel frustrated when things do not turn out the way it is supposed.  But at the end of the day, I try telling myself whether these things that irritate or stress me out now are important when I am at my death bed.  

I read an article recently on why Bhutan people are happy. It seems weird and paradoxical but it suggested that it is the thought about death everyday that make them happy. Here are the links if you are interested to read about it, though I must qualified that I am no advocate of any religion or any practice.   

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20150408-bhutans-dark-secret-to-happiness
http://www.livehappy.com/science/positive-psychology/death-becomes-us

I do not know how long I can live or how long I can stay healthy before I succumb to the next flare up or next illness . But as long as I wake up everyday healthily, I am grateful to be alive and living - to love and be loved by the loved ones around me. I wish the same for everyone who are reading this post.     

3 comments:

  1. Happy to see you are doing well! When I was diagnosed with Lupus a year ago, reading your blog was somehow comforting to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

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