Saturday, November 13, 2010

Viewing Lupus as a Positive Life Changing Event

I somewhat believe things in life happened for a purpose.  But as we are always forever busied ourselves in this world with so many demands and so many distractions, we do not always discover what is that purpose that certain things that happened to your life are trying to tell you.

Knowing that you have an unpredictable chronic illness like lupus can be a devastating blow to many. 

For me - it slows me down at least for a while - it let me discover or reconnect with many aspect of life - warmth, love, priorities in life, reading - to learn about many things - impermanence of life, diet, ..... and of course writing,  Things that were lost when I buried myself with the day to days demands at home and at work.

At least compared to the past, I am now more aware and appreciative of the things that happened to me and my loved ones - that's being present which is most important thing.   I should not delve in things that have passed and worry too much about future that has yet to happen. I need not wait for all conditions that I have set to be happy to be happy. What is matter most is the present.... and I should always enjoy my time with my loved ones. 

Without lupus - I suppose I would continue my life without much reflections  -  not with a life without a more meaningful purpose. 

Friday, November 5, 2010

Fear of Hairloss

It has been a crazy month since I went back to work in early Oct.  Things and issues just cropped up continuously.  While I tried to take things easy, it could be tiring at times and I also did not get enough rest.  Blogging has take a back seat for a moment. 

Doc increased my Azathioprine dosage to 100mg while he reduced my prednisolone gradually.  But then, not sure whether it was lupus flare due to stress (dealing with issues and office politics!!!) or not enough rest or due to increased dosage of azathioprine, I started to experience severe hair loss in the last 2-3 weeks.  For a person who have thick hair, watching your hair thinning at an alarming rate was not pleasant.  I told my hubby and kid that it was depressing to know that I might get bald patches in the near future.  But then, it was a case of no choice given my medical condition.  Doc advised that I should continue with the medication and the hair would grow back when the recent active lupus was better under control.....   Anyway, got to focus on what I have and not what I have lost.  So meanwhile am on active lookout for a nice wig.....:)).